Archive for March 2008
I F**KIN LOVE THIS SHOW
Celia Hodes: Really. I’ve recently stopped giving a shit what anyone thinks, and I gotta tell you, I feel great.
Shane Botwin: But you have cancer.
Celia Hodes: And you have a dead father. Both of us make people really uncomfortable. There’s no way around it. So either we can feel all self-concious and pretend that everything’s normal, or we can just be our strange selves.
Shane Botwin: Thanks, Mrs. Hodes.
Celia Hodes: For what?
Shane Botwin: For telling me the truth.
Celia Hodes: You’re welcome. It’s a bitch, though, ain’t it?
Weeds, Season 1 Ep. 5
And today… a Poem… by someone else
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
– Jelaluddin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks
Beware the Ides of March
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ides_of_March
Seriously?
My favorite food
1. Food from home (as in the Dominican Republic)
There is a restaurant here in Chicago that serves Dominican food called Punta Cana. It’s great!
2. Thai food
Again, it involves rice… I love rice. White, no-nutritional value rice.
3. Italian food
Again, it involves carbs. White pasta… yummo.
I am (NOT) ok
This blog is a medium for me to vent about how I’m feeling to an almost too honest degree. This is not a cry for help, not something for any of you to freak out about or give me advice about or be insanely condescending to me about. Unless I die. Then it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!! (jk)
I think that I am going crazy. Functionality has become a bit of a problem. My house is slowly filling with stuff. Showers are too hard. I shower because I have to. I cope because I have to. I take care of my child because I have to. What happens when I can’t any more?
Depression is debilitating. Depression really does hurt (thank you drug company commercials!). I am tired and apathetic. I admit it. I ask God to hit me with a bolt of lightning. (Thunder, so I understand, would not be as effective.) God does not listen.
Religion, faith, prayer, meditation (if I were capable of it) do not work. I’m sure exercise would if I could work up the energy to get my ass out of the house. Tomas is getting take care of three times a week. God help him the other 4. No, I do better when he’s here because I have to, though there is that tiny bit of resentment that if it weren’t for him I could just stay in bed.
Maybe I just want to go crazy… isn’t that crazy?
Tired
I had a mini melt down today. Ok, more than mini. And less than sober. Last time I wasn’t sober was Sunday but I wasn’t that unsober. Today I was the kind of unsober that is meant to numb but it numbed me the point of feeling so much I burst from my I’m ok bubble and I’m so horribly unok that I’m making up words.
My Bad Habits
I’m only giving you three (I think I only have three) but one of them is not true. You have to figure out which is which!
1. I bite my nails. I know, I know, a completely disgusting habit. I’ve tried quitting and have been mildly successful at it. My nails looks nice long. They also feel nice when I use them on someone else’s back… I’m obsessing, I know.
2. I drink Coke. I know it’s bad for me, and bad for the environment and that Coke is an evil corporation that funds terrorism in other parts of the world. AND that it can clean rust off a nail. I KNOW. Trust me, I know. I KNOW.
3. I pee outside the toilet bowl. I can’t help myself. I just get too excited and hyper and end up missing every time. I’ve tried to be a good girl. And it makes me wonder how I’m going to toilet train my kid in 1 1/2 years.
Well…
Too post to drunk…
