Just Because

Life has been one big roller coaster lately. I know that I’m prone to writing about things that are about me, but not really because I keep a certain distance from what I write. But lately, I feel inclined to write and share and say too much.

So here is too much.

I can’t say it back. I might never say it back. Because I know what I really want it to mean now, and I can’t ever risk it again, with anybody else. Not those kinds of words.

I’m broken, you see. Maybe I can only say it once and mean it. Maybe I’m too pragmatic or too cold. Maybe I can only say so much and then I shut down.

So I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be mean or a tease (ok, maybe a little… but in a good way) or coy. I like easy and uncomplicated and I’m scared you might be more complicated both for me and for you.

But don’t stop talking to me like you did before. Because then that would be too much to bear.