Just Because

I’m not sure if people that don’t really experience depression think that depression is just about feeling really, really sad.

Trust me… it’s not.

Depression is seductive. It wants you to think that the answer to feeling better is to do nothing.

Depression is about not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, not wanting to shower, change, care. It’s about feeling hungry and not caring enough to get out of bed to get yourself something to eat. It’s about a complete lack of energy and total apathy. It’s about not caring enough to even cry.

I struggle out of bed each morning. I have a son who needs me to care and to fix him food. I struggle to go through the motions because I have a job and a life and goals. I struggle.

And I know I need help. I know I should make the phone call to find someone to talk to. But for now, I really have nothing to say.